Whoops I married my rate

 Here’s one of my least favorite mortgage sales cliches:

You marry the house but you date the rate.

Every loan officer when rates are high

If you’ve never heard this before, it’s trying to convey to a nervous buyer that they’re keeping the house for the long term (marriage) but can refinance out of the rate whenever a better rate comes along (dating).

But rather than abuse this cliche, I’ve got something a little more fun in this video.

Yes you heard right: Whoops, I married my rate. It’s a fun little thought exercise where I get hitched to different pop culture icons from various eras of high and low interest rates. And because I’m a sucker for a good mortgage joke, I’ve meme-ified my interest rate “married life” here too.

In Apr 1981 rates spiked 5% to 16.35% in just 6 months… and then in Oct 1981 hit 18.39% which is the highest in last 50 years. So who better to ring in the “Happy Days” than proud papa Howard Cunningham!

Throughout the early/mid 1980s rates slid down until hitting 9% in March 1987 – which was the lowest rate in the 80s. So in the spirit of reasonable decision making, we’re taking down-home, hot dog loving detective Matlock to the nearest justice of the peace to get hitched to .

But the good times couldn’t last forever. By October 1987 rates climbed to back to double digits and hit 11.21%…just in time for an alien called Alf to try and woo me away from Matlock…but better believe I wasn’t planning to settle down with this furry dude.

After an 8 month recession that began after the Gulf War, the fed lowered rates consistently and in January 1992 the 30 year fixed rate got down to 8.45% which can only mean one thing. Enter Booker Brooks (yes George Clooney before the scrubs) from Rosanne. But he had a secret relationship with Jackie so se la vie.

Now at this point, you may be thinking I’m unlucky at love…or maybe I’m just waiting for my moment.

And then it comes. The Fed continued lowering rates (over 2 years of straight rate reductions) bringing mortgage rates to 6.81% in 1993 and I see him. Dark, brooding, and that hair.

Friggin Dylan Mckay. And that’s IT…I’m leaving Matlock and his pension for a spin in that classic black Porsche convertible. I can still feel the wind in his hair.

So it’s Nov 1994 and rates have spiked to 9.25% but luckily I’m still in marital bliss in the 90210. However that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to dodge a couple White Broncos. Yes I’m talkin’ OJ. Luckily, when he drove cross town from Brentwood to Beverly Hills I didn’t answer the door.

Fast forward into the new millennium when rates gently floated down to 8.52% (Jun 2000). And like everyone else, I was glued to the Food Network and guess who tries to BAM their way into my heart? Who else but Emeril Lagasse? But forget the 7 year itch…I ain’t fallin’ for it! Pack up your knives, chef.

Then after 9/11 rates hit new lows of 6.51% in Nov 2001. And there he is: Justin Timberlake. Singing, dancing, soon-to-be acting! A triple threat in the making…and sorry Dylan I’m getting a divorce!

(I mean getting a refinance!)

Mortgage jokes aside…what am I trying to say? Interest rates aren’t forever, but you do need a place to call home. And when you find a “home” you can afford, don’t fret too much over the interest rate. After all you never know when JT may come strollin’ into your life bringing the sexy back to that rate.